I knew the day would come, the day that I would walk into my babies room and discover that he wanted to become an artist. Except since I don't let them sleep with paint, he would have to use his own feces instead.
There he was, pantless, with crap smeared from crib rail to crib rail, on himself, on the crib sheet, on his stuffed animals, on the mattress after he pulled 1/2 the sheet off it, and smeared in the mesh of the crib tent.
I tossed him in the tub and began scouring the crib with alcohol and bleach. And started my first of many loads of laundry for the day.

I bathed both kids and fed them breakfast. They were running around, being loud and when my aunt called, I went in the office and closed the door so I could hear. We talked for not even 5 minutes. When I went back into the kitchen I found that they had climbed on the counter and dumped an entire box of Kix cereal on the floor. There were 2 kids and 1 dog eating it up off the floor.

I picked up all the cereal, vacuumed up the dust, cleaned up their toys and did a load of dishes.
I decided that I needed a break and put both kids in their high chairs. I rolled up their sleeves, put bibs on them, and handed them each a popsicle and zoned out on my computer for a few minutes.  When they finished the popsicles sooner than I was hoping for, I have Joss a jello, and Jax an applesauce and ducked back into the computer room for 15 more minutes.
When I came back into the kitchen THIS is what I found:

After I cried for a second, I picked them both up at the same time, one kid under each arm  so they wouldn't touch anything, and dumped them in the tub (for the second time this morning) I stripped them down, then started the bath water, and then my 2nd load of laundry this morning.
All of this before noon! Now both kids are down for their nap and I am going to go fold and put away 3 loads of laundry, and mop up my jello covered floor, then maybe I can squeeze in a chance to have a shower and brush my teeth since it's 2:30.\
Any one of these messes would have been exhausting, but the culmination of what transpired during such a short period of time is truly beyond my patience.

Not to mention I was already tired from Joss screaming from 2-4am, then Jax  for 1/2 hour.

I am DONE being a mom today! Buy 1 get 1 free sale, anyone interested?

This year we had Thanksgiving at my moms house.  We always have holidays at my house, but this year, I insisted it was my moms turn. She didn't want to touch the naked turkey, luckily for her my step dad made a fabulous turkey. I brought the mashed potatoes and stuffing. And everyone else pitched in and brought yummy dishes too.

My step sister Michelle and her cute family came to spend the night Tuesday on their way fro Boise to Denver for Thanksgiving. The kids had so much fun playing with her boys Rex-4, and Sam- 2. Here are a few pictures:

I taped a piece of saran wrap to their high chair trays, squirt some pain on it, then covered it with another piece of saran wrap and taped it all down. The kids loved squishing it around and the best part is, it was mess free! I transferred the finished product onto a piece of white paper and now it is hanging on the fridge.

My kids don't sleep. I thought Josselyns tonsillectomy would help her sleep through the night, and it did... for 8 days. Unfortunately, she is so used to waking up at night that it is her "normal." It started as newborns with horrible colic, then horrible reflux, then upset stomachs from trying different formulas to find one that was soothing on their stomachs, then sleep apnea episodes with Josselyn waking up in the middle of the night choking. We would listen to her snoring and breathing on the monitor then we could hear a long pause when she would stop breathing, then start choking and gasping for breath. It would scare her and gave her night terrors. She would turn wild and uncontrollably scream. It was very scary to listen to her breathe like that.
We tried so many methods and read so many books and asked advice from so many dr's and friends. This has been a struggle every night for 2 years. Well I shouldn't say every night, because about 2 nights a week they both sleep 12-14 hours no problem.  On the nights that I put my foot down and insisted that we would let her cry it out she would cry, scratch that, Scream for 2, 3, or even sometimes 7 hours. The only thing that will calm her down is a warm bottle of milk. I toss it in bed with her, and she is out in 5 minutes and sleeps the rest of the night. And I sleep the rest of the night. I hate giving them bottles. They are 2, and should have grown out of them a year ago. I don't want them to get bottle rot and have their teeth fall out. I brush them morning and night, but still. Every time I say I am not going to give them another bottle, and they can scream all they want, I eventually cave in, because it turns into survival mode. I have to sleep, and they need their sleep, and it is a quick fix that works every time.
I have a friend that recommended a sleep specialist and I am actually considering spending the 200.00 to have her sleep analyze my kids. They wont sleep without eachother, so separating their rooms seems like the worst option possible to me. They love being together, and find comfort knowing they are next to each other. I could take my entire office apart, take the crib apart, move it to the office and do a trial run to see how they do, but I just have such a bad feeling about it and I don't think it is the answer. Maybe we will try it in a few weeks and see how it goes, just so I can say that I have tried everything. They have no problem taking a 2 1/2 hour nap everyday, and they go right to bed at night easily. It is just that they wake up 1/2 way through the night. 90% of the time it is Joss.
The other night was the worst it's been in a long time I slept from 10pm-12:00am. That was it. Joss screamed, then Jax screamed, then they both did, then they were up for the day. Jason doesn't see what the big deal is, since he happily snores through all of this. (which makes me want to punch him in the face at 2am) He thinks I should buy headphones and tune them out. I think they need some serious tough love sleep training.
So after my entire night sleeping only 2 hours... I looked like this:

Jaxon climbed up on my lap, stroked my face and said "Pretty mama." There is nothing quite like a childs' unconditional love. Especially since I looked (and felt) like I had been dragged behind a garbage truck.

Last night we went to Grammy and Grandy's for a belated birthday dinner for Uncle Zak (Dude.)  Jax, Joss, and Jase jumped, jumped, and jumped.

I am a member of the Salt Lake Mothers of Twins Club.  Novembers activity was at the Discovery Gateway Childrens' Museum. I have always wanted to go there and best part it was free for our group activity.
I wanted Jason to come with us but he ended up having a meeting at the exact time. I was a little worried about taking both kids by myself since I haven't been there before and wasn't sure if it would be hard to keep an eye on both kids at once. Jason surprised me and ended up meeting us there after his meeting.
This place was SO awesome! There is so much to do for 2 yr olds. They were in heaven. Their favorite part was the water feature, they both ran right over to it and got sopping wet before I could put on their water proof aprons. There is a little grocery store for the kids to push shopping carts around and pretend to shop, they had so much fun picking out all their groceries and even put them all away in the correct spot. Joss loved the huge horse, and playing with the chickens. Jax loved the construction area with a crane and big foam bricks. Joss also loved playing in the house and rocking all the babies.
It was such a cool place, and we will definitely go back. After we went to Jasons Deli for dinner (2nd night in a row) and the kids danced and sang to the music they had playing. It was a great night!

Today is National Prematurity Awareness day.
It was definitely a very emotional time for me when the twins were born unexpectedly at 33 weeks. I was so proud and happy but at the same time nervous and scared. They were so tiny, I was afraid to hold them. So many tubes, wires, alarms, and monitors hooked up to them.
There is a lot of their first few days of life that I don't remember. I was on some heavy duty medication and since I wasn't able to hold them or even see them for hours after they were born I felt like there was a lot that I missed. Lately I have had a lot of questions in my head and things I wish I would have asked the Dr's about my delivery and the first few hours of their life. I decided to order their medical records, and my medical records, in hopes of getting some of these answers. I got the package a few weeks ago. 272 pages for Jaxon, 284 pages for Josselyn, 84 pages for me.
As I looked over them, I found some startling information that I wish I didn't know now. Yes it did give me some closure to these questions, but also made me upset.  I found that Jaxon was pale blue when he was born, Josselyn had a heart murmur. As well as a lot of other things. I am glad I have these records to save, but I don't plan on looking at them ever again. Too many bad NICU memories.
They have come a long way that is for sure. I have used the information I have learned from what we went through in the NICU  to help other preemie mommies as a "big sister"  in a preemie support group. The breathing, eating, and reflux issues didn't end for us when we came home from the hospital. I love being able to help other moms that are dealing with a lot of the same challenges my kids did. It has been nice to feel like our experiences gave me knowledge to be able to offer support and give back.  I have signed up to be a NICU volunteer at the new hospital, and look forward to being able to volunteer there in the future. It was the preemie twin mom volunteers that helped me while they were in the hospital more than the nurses, because they had first hand experiences of how to care for 2 preemies at home at the same time.
I thought I would post a few pictures of my little peanuts from when they were newborns. Here is a little trip down memory lane.

I love my little bundled up snow babies!

They did this all on their own. Too sweet for words.

Jaxon uses the letter "D" in place of other letters.  Yesterday he was walking out of my room and as he left he turned around, smiled, waved and said "Die Mama!" It took me a second to realize he meant "bye Mama" so that stung for a second. I hope he never says that to me and actually means it!
He also learned how to say "Seriously Mama!" and "Awesome Mama!"  He is also using a lot of sentences now like "Please apple juice mama?" I love when they say apple juice, it sound so cute.
They have discovered how fun it is to open the oven door and use it as a ladder to climb onto the counter. This scares me to death. Is there a way to lock an oven when you are cooking? Or do I need to sit next to the oven for the full 45 min that dinner is cooking?
They also love to escape out the doggy door. I try to keep it locked when they are awake, or playing in that room but sometimes I forget. As soon as I see their little feet sneak through the door it is usually too late to grab them by the ankle. I have a piece of wood wedged in the track, for some reason this makes me fell like burglars can't come in, and because of the way the dog door is installed there is a crack along the window where cold air gets in, so I have a bunch of foam wadded along the window to seal it.
I have to take the wood out, yank out all the foam, open the door and run outside to get them. My backyard is covered in snakes and dog crap. A few days ago when I went chasing them in the backyard a huge snake slithered right in front of me and I had to jump over it. Because of all of these reasons,  I hate when they dog door escape more than anything!
We went to play with cousin Jase today while Aunt Jenny had a work meeting. We had a lot of fun destroying their house. Three 2 yr olds can make quite a mess. They each wanted to play with different toys in different rooms. They all actually played really well together. Jase had a few times when he didn't want to share, and Jax had a few times when he shoved or hit, but overall they had a lot of fun together. The only time I wanted to cry is when Joss put both feet in the dog water dish and I had to strip off her pants, shoes, and socks, and put her in some of Jase's pants. I am so glad I don't have triplets!

Here are some pictures of the kiddos.

I heard Jaxon giggling and came downstairs to find this: